I didn't think I could do it... leave you behind for good...
I remember the slumber parties, sometimes me and a friend, sometimes just me and you. And either way, I'd be up much too late, singing or giggling or reading like a fiend.
I remember when I was scared, when the world was crumbling under the weight of adult-sized yelling. You held me in your four compassionate blue walls and hid me from what I couldn't understand yet... when you could.
I remember living in you, and feeling so relieved after a hard day to sink into your depths and finally take a full breath...
When I saw your new face I balked... You are blindingly shiny, brand-spanking new-- showing me what I'll be missing, I get that. I'd do the same in your position, get repainted into a weak facsimile of cheer. But Butter Yellow was never a good colour for us...
I didn't want this to be goodbye, forever... but that's the way things have to be. It's not up to us anymore. It never really was.
Stop. Just Stop. Don't give me that blank-wall stare. Just listen:
I just came to get my things and move on with my life, just a little more broken... but you stare accusingly with all the ire 27 beanie babies can muster. You've shed my paintings and greet me, bare-assed bare-walled, showing that if I don't need you to hold me, you don't need me to fill you up.
But someone is going to love you, and soon.
It is time, to let go of this petulance, and start to forget this heartache.
Let us say goodbye like lovers do. Lingering; soft words and violent passion in turn.
Just because there is no room left in my life, doesn't mean my room is gone from my heart...
Yours, Truly.
